Ughhhh….

My college classes start today for the semester and I stayed up all night last night just thinking. Thinking about where I want my life to be and how I want to get there. I really want to apply to work somewhere cool like Ulta or Victoria’s Secret and still maybe make my “fast/easy money” also.. ;) Once I get enough saved up I can get some cheap apartment.. maybe a nice one since they’re all cheap around here.. idc I just need to live anywhere but here in this house. Anywhere away from my parents. At the same time I think maybe moving out isn’t such a good idea and maybe my dad and I still won’t get along. Living away from him would definitely help my self esteem go up a bit. All he seems to do is put me down.. he doesn’t really believe in me.. I want to prove all these negative people in my life wrong. Fuck them. I’m up for the challenge. All I need is a lot of time and determination but in the end it will be worth it. It’s my independence at steak.

I just bought synthetic weed.

This is what it’s come to.

I swear too much.

And I don’t give a FUCK what you have to say about it.

I need to rant somewhere. I need to feel better.

I can’t believe she would even suggest such I horrible idea. Who the fuck has sex for weed? Not me. Her accusation threw me over the edge. On top of everything else going wrong in my life, her words wouldn’t leave my mind. I ended up overdosing on Ativan and had to spend a week in the hospital. Fuck her. She doesn’t know me. She never knew me. AND THEN she had the nerve to write to my psychiatrist. He couldn’t tell me everything she said but I could see a FULL page of typed words. What the FUCK would she have to say about me? That I’m a danger to myself and others? Christ. She needs to know when she’s overstepping her boundaries. How dare her. She doesn’t even know hardly anything about me except that I “sleep all day and don’t say very much.” Well NO SHIT I sleep during the day because I prefer to stay up at night doing whatever the hell I want. And what the fuck do I have to say to her anyways? I SICK of having to prove myself to everyone. I wish she would just stay out of my life.

No. Fuck you. I will do what I want. Stop trying to control me.

Drama never quits.

Ever. There is always something new to deal with and there’s always going to be those nasty bitches and haters trying to start shit. Fuck them all.

Cops ruin everything. *Screams with frustration*

Fuck you Blackberry. Fuck you too.